Saturday, November 26, 2011

BIDDING FARWEWLL

Om Thursday Nov 17 at 8:45 in the morning I received a call that Debbie had passed away.  I called Cheryl who was home sick and she actually got to the care center before I did.  She was a tremendous help through all that had to be done.

Burying Deb was one of the hardest things I have had to do, similar to my mothers.  It as different when Patti died.  I cried for a few minutes then put it aside.  I thin the difference was that Mom and Deb I took care for several years.  When you serve someone you have a different depth at their loss.

Everyone has been great and I cannot say enough good about Mike.  He did not leave  my side for a second and just constantly made sure I was warm enough, had everything I needed etc.  He has called me several times since then, but tonight I was just not up to talking with anyone.  I love the side of Mike that is kind and caring, don't care much for when everything is about business.

Cheryl had placed a charm bracelet on Deb of shoes, oh how that girl loved shoes!  All the speakers and singers did a wonderful job.  People who did not know Deb were surprised at how spiritual the services were.  What people did not realize about Deb was that she was a very spiritual person, just had a difficult time with organized meetings and commitment.  But there were reasons for that, none of which are important enough to share.

Deb suffered so much and I'm not sure if the physical or the emotional or mental were worse.  But I am at peace  that she can be at peace again.  Diabetes played such havoc on her body and mind.  But I prefer to focus on the fact that they are all together again.

I went to the cemetery the day at the funeral and had been quite surprised at some of my thoughts.  We went to the Olive Garden following the cemetery and I turned around and asked "where's Deb?"  Then I woke up in the middle of the night worried that she might not be warm enough and I better get her a blanket.

I did have one thought that surprised me though.  I got kind of irritated, not speaking anyone specific and said "you all left me!"  I never expected that I would be the last surviving member of my family.  I was always the sickly one growing up, while everyone else was out playing.

My dear sis, go on, progress and enjoy your freedom from the tortures of mortal life.  Till we meet again!





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