Friday, July 13, 2012


 All through her life, Debbie was found of the best in life.  So in her death, I decided we needed to follow the same pattern.  I added her picture to her grave stone and today was the first time I saw the finished product.

Of course, seeing her picture from one of the happiest days of here short life turned on the water works for  me.

This picture on the grave stone was taken on the day of her wedding to Robert Carl Anderson, October 10, 1997.  I think she would have been very pleased with how things turned out.
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Saturday, November 26, 2011


Om Thursday Nov 17 at 8:45 in the morning I received a call that Debbie had passed away.  I called Cheryl who was home sick and she actually got to the care center before I did.  She was a tremendous help through all that had to be done.

Burying Deb was one of the hardest things I have had to do, similar to my mothers.  It as different when Patti died.  I cried for a few minutes then put it aside.  I thin the difference was that Mom and Deb I took care for several years.  When you serve someone you have a different depth at their loss.

Everyone has been great and I cannot say enough good about Mike.  He did not leave  my side for a second and just constantly made sure I was warm enough, had everything I needed etc.  He has called me several times since then, but tonight I was just not up to talking with anyone.  I love the side of Mike that is kind and caring, don't care much for when everything is about business.

Cheryl had placed a charm bracelet on Deb of shoes, oh how that girl loved shoes!  All the speakers and singers did a wonderful job.  People who did not know Deb were surprised at how spiritual the services were.  What people did not realize about Deb was that she was a very spiritual person, just had a difficult time with organized meetings and commitment.  But there were reasons for that, none of which are important enough to share.

Deb suffered so much and I'm not sure if the physical or the emotional or mental were worse.  But I am at peace  that she can be at peace again.  Diabetes played such havoc on her body and mind.  But I prefer to focus on the fact that they are all together again.

I went to the cemetery the day at the funeral and had been quite surprised at some of my thoughts.  We went to the Olive Garden following the cemetery and I turned around and asked "where's Deb?"  Then I woke up in the middle of the night worried that she might not be warm enough and I better get her a blanket.

I did have one thought that surprised me though.  I got kind of irritated, not speaking anyone specific and said "you all left me!"  I never expected that I would be the last surviving member of my family.  I was always the sickly one growing up, while everyone else was out playing.

My dear sis, go on, progress and enjoy your freedom from the tortures of mortal life.  Till we meet again!

Saturday, October 29, 2011


After a transplant as well as when on dialysis there are some healthy foods that are just no good for the patient.  Banana and such are one of those deadly foods.  Debbie has been eating two bananas a day and so now her potassium is about double what it should be.  The doctor said she needed some medicine immediately in order to bring it down.

When they brought her the medicine and instructed her to drink it, she asked, what if I don't want to?  So they told her she would die.  So of course she drank it.

We have had this discussion many times, potassium can be deadly.  It can stop your heart and it is a very painful death.  It should never be over 6.0.

Hopefully she will do what she is supposed to but her question is why is everything I like bad for me?

Thursday, September 29, 2011


I received a call from Debbie tonight.  She was very upset, convinced they were picking on her and not taking proper care of her.  Apparently she is in a full-blown bipolar episode, Doug thought being in quartine has triggered this episode.

She  had told me she was no longer in quartine and had convinced a nurse of this also.  This is something she tends to do when she is trying to get her way.  I mentioned that I thought she seemed much meaner the last couple of days and Doug told me they had noticed the same thing.

She is threatening to leave the home, carrying her large screen TV and make her way to my home to live in the basement.  Obviously the thinking is not rationale.

Doug explained this becomes very difficult for families to deal with and they tend to stay away because it becomes too difficult to deal with.

Even though you realize that the person is mentally ill, it does not make the comments and treatments from these individuals any less painful.  Their personality changes so much, it is as if they no longer exist.

I was thinking all day today that I need to gear up for her birthday in October.

Thursday, September 1, 2011


Debbie called today and informed me that her remaining foot is infected again.  So they have her on an anti biodics again.  She is assuming she is going to die from it.  But then we go through this every time something new happens to her.

Once again she asked for me to order some clothes from Penney's for her.  I told her that I could not that she has not paid for the last clothes I got her.  Her thinking has changed so much.  Her reasoning was that did not matter because she has a $2,000. limit.  I can see I need to make sure all of her accounts are closed right away.  It's obvious the dementia is really taking effect.